Estella requested permission for a regional inspection in Duke Viktor's study.
The unidentified borrower was none other than the Elbach baronial house itself. Estella had learnt this last night from Leonhardt's investigation. This was information that her lady-in-waiting had brought her via the civil official. The final entry in the company's lending records.
Ludwig had lent a large amount to the baronial house at the time of Mille's adoption. As a condition for repayment, he had secured their "cooperation in the adopted daughter's court activities." Under Ludwig's direction, the baronial house had sent Mille into the court and helped her approach the Crown Prince.
Some of Mille's conduct at court had been carried out under the direction of her adoptive house and those instructions came from Ludwig.
This was confirmed through Leonhardt's investigation and reported to the Royal Council.
Estella couldn't sleep the night she had heard that report.
The possibility that not all of Mille's actions had been from her own ill will. The tears she'd shed in the garden, the testimony at the hearing, that pitiful crying. Some of those tears might have been tears of a person who was forced to do something.
That final night. Mille had cried in Alvin's chambers, saying "I just wanted to be by Your Highness's side." She now had more context to add to her lingering question of whether those tears were genuine or not.
And one more thing.
The words Leonhardt had said yesterday in the garden were still on her mind. "I don't want to lie. Not in front of you." Estella hadn't been able to give him an answer to those words but he backed away for now. He had started to acknowledge his emotions, but couldn't take the final step.
That lingering feeling hadn't faded but she realised something else.
I want to see Mille.
That urge quietly crept up on her during the night.
The next morning. Estella informed her lady-in-waiting that she would be returning to the ducal estate and went to her father's study.
"Father. I wish to request permission to visit the baronial estate. Under the pretense of a regional inspection on behalf of the ducal house."
Viktor looked up from his correspondence and looked at his daughter.
"Tell me your reasons."
"I wish to see Millefeuille."
Viktor's brow twitched slightly.
"To confirm the details of the company's schemes?"
"No. I have no rational reason."
Estella said honestly. She had no intention of lying in this study.
"I simply... wish to meet her and speak with her."
Viktor said nothing for a long time as he continued to stare at his daughter's face.
"You will be accompanied by your lady-in-waiting and a knight. That is the condition."
"Thank you, Father."
By the corridor windows. The usual time, the day after she returned to the academy.
Estella informed Leonhardt of the inspection during their exchange of administrative documents.
"I'm going to see Millefeuille."
Leonhardt's hand paused on top of the documents.
The lingering aftereffects from yesterday's conversation in the garden still hung faintly between them. They had said "I don't want to lie" to each other, yet neither had been able to come up with an answer. And yet, Estella had brought up a different topic.
"Why are you going to see her?"
"I have no rational reason."
Leonhardt's eyes narrowed slightly.
"It isn't to verify evidence or confirm her testimony. I simply want to see her."
Silence fell.
Yesterday, Leonhardt had said "acting on emotion frightens me." That if he acted on emotion, he would become like his brother.
Estella understood that fear. She understood it, and yet she was now telling him that she had chosen to act based on her emotions.
"You're acting based on your emotions?"
"Yes."
Her answer was immediate. She was surprised by the certainty in her voice.
Leonhardt said nothing for several minutes.
"Did you get your father's permission?"
"Yes. It will be under the pretense of a regional inspection on behalf of the ducal house. My lady-in-waiting and a knight will accompany me."
"I see."
Leonhardt straightened the documents.
"Report to me when you return."
"Of course."
The baronial estate.
She stepped out of the carriage in the early afternoon. The baronial manor bore no resemblance to the splendor of the court. It looked sturdy and modest. Ivy crept along its stone walls and the garden shrubbery, though tended, was plain.
She was shown to one of the parlours for the meeting. It wasn't large. Afternoon light streamed through the window, illuminating the simple furnishings.
Millefeuille was already there.
She sat in a chair with her hands folded on her lap. She was thinner than before. Her cheeks bore the traces of fatigue. She no longer carried that timid and calculating aura that she had worn at the court. Spending days in a place where no one reacted to her tears had stripped something away from her and left something else behind.
When Estella entered, Mille looked up.
The look in her eyes changed to wariness, confusion and a faint hint of anger.
"Lady Estella. What brings you here?"
Her speech was a mixture of formal and casual tones. Her habit of maintaining courtly etiquette and the honesty of someone who no longer had a reason to maintain it both came through in her words.
Estella closed the door and only took a few steps forward. Her knight was stationed at the entrance of the manor and her lady-in-waiting waited just outside the room.
"There's something I want to ask you."
Estella, too, had unintentionally dropped the manner of speech as a duke's daughter. She simply couldn't bring herself to carry out court formalities in this situation.
"Those tears... were they all your own choice?"
Mille's eyes wavered.
"What do you..."
"I think you know what I mean. Did you choose to cry those tears in front of the Crown Prince, at the hearing and the other times?"
Silence filled the room.
Mille's hands clenched on her knees so tightly that her fingertips turned white.
After a long pause, she spoke quietly.
"...Not all of it."
Estella didn't move.
"My father... my real father told me. 'If you cry, people will protect you. Cry in front of His Highness and he will shield you.' At first, that was all it was."
Mille's voice trembled. Not a purposeful tremble. Her voice was of someone on the verge of losing control.
"But partway through, I stopped being able to tell whether I was crying because I was told to, or because I wanted to. When I was in front of His Highness, there were times when I was genuinely scared. I wasn't lying when I said I was afraid of you either, Lady Estella."
Her voice trailed off.
"I really did like His Highness at first but I couldn't tell what my true feelings were anymore after doing what my father said for some time."
Tears spilled from Mille's eyes.
She wasn't trying to hold them back. It wasn't pitiful crying, or fear-induced crying, or even angry crying. They simply fell. Even Estella, who had spent ten years in her past life analyzing tears, couldn't put a name to them.
"The scariest thing is that... I don't know if my tears are real or not."
Something deep inside Estella creaked.
She was the same.
She had used crocodile tears as a weapon. She had cried on command. In the garden, she had shed the tears she needed when she needed them. The day she admitted to lying for the first time in front of Leonhardt. The day her voice trembled when she said "I shall do my best." That tremor had been real. But the line between what was real and what was fake was still blurred, even for Estella.
Mille's words overlapped with those ten years of her past life. Standing at the counter, putting on a smile, bowing her head, accepting every unreasonable demand. Ten years of being made to do things. There had been days when she couldn't tell whether her smile was genuine or an act.
It was the same.
Estella's eyes grew hot.
She didn't stop it.
A single tear traced down her cheek.
She wasn't controlling her diaphragm or regulating her breathing. She had done nothing. She was simply crying.
Mille's eyes widened. Seeing Estella's tears, an expression that Estella had never seen before flashed across Mille's face. Confusion. And the faintest... the very faintest trace of something like relief.
It was the face of someone who had realised they weren't alone.
"I have cried fake tears too. So I have no right to criticise you for it."
It wasn't a reconciliation nor was it forgiveness. It was simply a meeting where two people confirmed each other's truths.
Mille didn't respond. She only gave a small nod.
Estella wiped the corners of her eyes and stood.
"Thank you for speaking with me."
She left the room.
In the carriage, she felt the traces of her tears drying.
Her lady-in-waiting drew close with a worried expression, but Estella shook her head.
"I'm all right."
Those words weren't meant to be heard by anyone else.
She returned to the academy the following afternoon.
She spotted Leonhardt while waiting in the corridor for their administrative documents exchange.
"As promised, I've come to report to you."
Leonhardt looked up from his documents and studied Estella's face. He must have read something there since his gaze lingered a moment longer than usual.
"Millefeuille said that not all of her tears were of her own volition. She said that her biological father had instructed her to cry from the beginning. But... partway through, she could no longer tell what was real and what was fake."
Leonhardt listened in silence.
"That is all."
"Is that all?"
"Yes."
A moment of silence.
"Did you cry?"
Estella thought about what to say for a second. She could come up with an excuse, but they had told each other that they didn't want to lie to each other yesterday. She couldn't make excuses in front of him.
"Yes."
"Was it an act?"
"No."
Leonhardt's eyes widened slightly but they returned to normal in an instant.
"They were real."
Estella laughed slightly. She was surprised at how natural she sounded.
"I acted based on my emotion. Without any rational reason, I went to see her, cried, and came back."
Leonhardt said nothing.
After several minutes of silence, the corner of his mouth rose ever so slightly.
"I'm not appalled."
A single brief remark. But in the warmth of his voice, she felt the step back he had taken yesterday in the garden was moving forward.
Estella gave a bow and left.
Walking down the corridor towards her room, she thought about the things that still bothered her.
Mille's words. "The scariest thing is that... I don't know if my tears are real or not." She saw her past life reflected in those words and the tears came out naturally.
They were real tears.
The kind of real that Leonhardt had meant when he said, "If you're going to cry, make them real."
But they weren't tears she had cried in front of Leonhardt.
That fact remained in her mind like a tiny thorn.
The next time I cry in front of this person, I want to show him the real thing.
Estella still couldn't put a name to that feeling.
But she was no longer afraid of feeling something she couldn't name.